Blog Posts

25 going on 26!

Currently playing, “…Baby One More Time” and “Gimme More” by Britney Spears

Happy (early) birthday to me! My actual birthday is the 18th :3

June 16, 2024

7:37p My dog Pepper is snoring next to me.

Fuck writer’s block lmao. I know what I want to say, I simply find myself hesitating about what to share. Getting down to our 5 basic senses. Smell wise. I smell Pepper’s rancid farts. She’s officially a senior dog! I also smell the Twizzlers I’m eating to reinforce my writing muscle positively. Sight: My journal is open to the right of me, sitting on a pillow, displaying the most recent collages I made. My fingers are gliding across the glowing laptop keypad. I’m sitting crisscrossed on my bed, and Pepper is lying on her right side. My room has pictures, vinyl records, art supplies, and books. Touch: I feel my freshly washed Bedthreads 100% French flax linen bed sheets. My right foot is resting between Pepper’s back paws. A big firm pillow supports my lower back as I lay against the wall. Hearing: I hear Pepper’s snoring, like a jetplane running out of fuel. The sounds of airplanes flying above in the clouds. I hear my mom’s phone playing a youtube video from her room. I hear the typing of the keyboard. Taste: the strawberry flavor of Twizzlers slowly fades from my taste buds.

I want to write something that will capture the attention of my sweetheart! In our case, anything I write does just that. My eyelids are closing down on me. I’m not sure if it’s a defense mechanism that my body does just as I’m about to dive into my feelings. Or if its just my sleeping medicine kicking in.

June 17, ’24

6:14p I am nearing my 26th birthday! I’ve been thinking about what I want to share with the world before my birthday. I want to wrap up my 25th year on this planet with words. And pictures! My collages from this past year can say more than my words can, for now. Zoom in for the details! 🙂

Journal/Book #9: May 26, ’23 – Sept. 23, ’23

Journal/Book #10: Oct. 5, ’23 – May 5, ’24

Journal/ Book #11: May 5, ’24 – current

I’d also like to share a letter my bestie Johnny wrote me a while back. He writes my epilogues! Teamwork makes the dreamwork, lol. Maybe I’ve shared these on my blog before. If so, cool, If not, ta-da!

“Don’t overthink it and do it! Remember your life should never be determined by someone else! Your love is a valuable asset in this cruel world. You should always know that Alexis is built to withstand the storms of life and that includes men. As your friend I want you to be happy but not for the hell of it. Your happiness should be with someone that is truly your other half. You inspire many and men do desire you but they should also see you as [a] being of true love. Real shit! Keep your foot on these motherfuckers necks! Periodt! You need to use your strength that you’re capable of having. In Maya’s words, ‘you need to check a bitch that is acting up. 100%'”

Here’s an example of an epilogue by Johnny:

” Epilogue: What Fuels Alexis

I can say this “the moment.” She is here! Present for the right now. She knows what she wants and who she wants it with. Little does she know, Alexis is a fighter and she fights with her heart <3 Her journey continues and she has love on her side. May the memory of Miss Maya hold her always <3 -Johnny H. “

Next time you hear from me, I’ll be 26! My 25th year on this planet has been iconic, to say the least. I’m positive that my 26th year will be unique as ever. This is my first birthday that I don’t have my great-grandma with me :’) It’s bittersweet. All the white butterflies I encounter remind me that she and Maya are still with me, every step of the way.

Con mucho amor,

A.M.G. <3