Blog Posts

𓃱 A Love Letter For My Perfect Match

Currently playing: “Never Been In Love” by Talib Kweli

Individuals who want to believe that there is no fulfillment in love, that true love does not exist, cling to these assumptions because this despair is actually easier to face than the reality that love is a real fact of life but is absent from their lives.
bell hooks

First, here’s a little update…

Fuck. I’ve talked A LOT about love and relationships on my blog! ˖◛⁺⑅♡

I’ve talked about my wants, don’t wants, needs, boundaries, fears, dreams! Throughout all these years and blog posts, love was right under my nose. What I have been needing and wanting has been all of what Jirafa encompasses. We’ve been twirling around each other and entangling our roots for over 5 years. I call him Jirafa, but his government name is Jeffrey. Since I have an uncle with the same name, I prefer the nickname I gave him, lol. He’s Guatemalan and was born in LA. Though we met in my neck of the woods. He works with animals (how cute because I work with kids). His favorite person to ever exist is, ME! 🙂 *blushes*

I’ve talked about my relationship with Sir Jirafa before, and I wanted to share with you all where I’m at right now. We have had our fair share of ups & downs, twists & turns. Throughout it all, we have maintained love, mutual respect, trust, transparency, communication, emotional intimacy, availability, and forgiveness. Wooohooo, go us!!! His being in my life makes a positive difference in my world! Since he has been in my life, I have completed 16 journals & posted 255+ blog posts. He makes my life that much more adventurous and fulfilling. I freaking jump up and down when I think about our love for one another! Our relationship dynamics may be a bit unconventional – though it wouldn’t be a relationship with me in it if it were conventional.

For so long, I listened to my fears rather than my gut. My fears felt familiar and thus gave me a sense of control. Familiarity felt like my upbringing: sad, lonely, misunderstood, painful. I tried avoiding uncertainty because it felt overwhelming. Being vulnerable felt uncomfortable. So I would push Jeffrey away and block him, a few times lol. At the time, it felt like I was doing what I thought I needed for myself. In retrospect, I didn’t know how to be patient or let him into my heart. I learned that times without Jeffrey felt overwhelming and the loneliness was terrible. Sure I would try dating. I would also focus on myself, my friends, and my family. I focused on my passions and hobbies. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that something, or rather someone, was missing. Mind you, all the sad broken-hearted music I was listening to should’ve been a clue in the first place! By some miracle (shoutout to the ancestors), Jeffrey got my telepathic message that I was missing him and needed him so he would reach out on my blog or email (how romantic, right?!). Each time we reconnected, warmth was brought back to my life. A hard lesson that I’ve had to learn over the years because I’m stubborn: I often find it easier to trust myself when I let Jeffrey into my life because it feels good! It feels good because we have such a deep and intimate connection. We’ve put in the time, work, and effort to have such a strong bond! It didn’t happen overnight, it’s been years in the making. We’re not just romantic partners; we’re friends, confidants, lovers, and partners in every sense of the word. At the end of the day, that’s what matters most. My man, my man, MY man. ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

We are our most genuine authentic selves together. We don’t try to control or change one another. We work through any challenges and navigate the complexities of life. We are flexible, adaptable, and long-term focused. We know each other’s boundaries and desires, and we work together to make it all work.

So, yeah, my peeps – that’s where I’m at right now. I’m happy, content, and fulfilled with Sir Jirafa by my side. Actually, more like freaking over the moon that I’m letting him into my life 🙂

Love is as love does. Love is an action.
bell hooks

Now, onto the real juicy stuff!

*some parts removed for the public eye to keep this virtuous*

Dear my sweet Jirafa (Giraffe),

Amor de mi vida! I would like to take a moment to express my deepest gratitude to YOU for being MY partner in every sense of the word. You are my home where I can be myself, the LA to my SF, my true north. You are the one who helps me silence the doubting voices in my mind. You’re the one who shows me that I am capable of overcoming any obstacle and pushing my limit! Surrendering to you means giving up control and embracing the freedom that comes with trusting you completely and wholeheartedly. It’s knowing that you have my best interests at heart and will always prioritize my well-being. It’s feeling secure in the knowledge that you’ll support me through life’s challenges and celebrate me in times of joy/bliss. I’ve learned to acknowledge your wisdom, guidance, and love while also surrendering to the beauty of our connection. You’ve given me the gift of trust. I pinky promise & cross my heart to reciprocate that trust by being faithful, loyal, and devoted to our bond.

Devotion is a feeling AND it’s a choice. I choose to prioritize our relationship above all else. It’s choosing to listen to you (even when I’m stubborn), to support your dreams, and to be there for you through every up & down. Devotion is about honouring our love and commitment to each other, and to building a life together that reflects our values of trust, respect, and adoration.

THANK YOU JIRAFA for being my eternal partner, my perfect match, amor de mi vida, amor mio, my Jeffrey! You are my counterpoint to the melody of my life. You are the center of my world. We aren’t just two individuals moving in synchrony; we are a single, harmonious system (like a self-sustaining feedback loop) connected at the quantum level. Our love has transcended the boundaries of time and space, existing in a state of superposition. When we are together, we are not just twirling around one another or just moving our bodies; we’re navigating the quantum landscape of our love. Every move, every glance, every [touch], every kiss, every declaration of our love and commitment is a deliberate choice that shapes the course of our entangled existence.

In your presence, I feel seen, heard, and understood. You continue to accept me for who I am, rapid-fire, cute whining, and sweet pleas. Your unwavering support for my writing (and other passions) has been a constant source of encouragement for me. Your confidence in my abilities empowers me to make all my (and our) dreams come true. Your gentle nudges to be more vulnerable in my writing have been incredibly needed and valued. My writing is a reflection of our love, a way to express the beauty and complexity of our relationship. Your words are a balm to my soul, soothing my fears and doubts. My words have become a testament to our relationship, a reminder to all that love can be found in the smallest moments, quiet whispers and sweet laughter (you laughing at something silly I’ve said or done).

You, my love, have given me so much more than just your love. You’ve given me the courage to be myself… I love you Jirafa. I love you for who you are flaws, downfalls, and all. Thank you for being you, and following your purpose in life. It is a true honor being your life/eternal partner! I am so lucky and blessed to fill your heart! I love watching us grow and evolve as individuals and as a partnership. I’m ready for whatever comes next. As long as I’ve got MY Jirafa by my side, I know we can get through anything.

XoXo,

The love of your life and eternal partner, Alexis <3

P.s. I need you 🙂

Here’s an example of a sad song that I would play on repeat when Jeffrey and I weren’t talking: