Cue “I Wanna Be Your Lover” by Prince

My inner child HATES feeling lost. It’s been a little over 3+ months since my Great Grandma passed away. I’ve continued to make time for what’s important. Alone time. Friends. Family. Space to heal.

As for my dating life… I’ve encountered guys who I suppose I connect with but then it turns out that they’re simply not ready for someone like me. I feel that when these guys get to know the real me, reality scares them straight. Their mirror reflects something in me that makes them recoil. They pull back at the sight of their unhealed selves.

I am simply radiating sunshine and they are simply guys who were attracted to my warmth but couldn’t stand the heat.

I know that there are healthy healed guys out there who want to genuinely commit… I gotta put on my binoculars to find them. I feel like most people think it’s easy dating as a beautiful woman. But is NOT. Everyone has it hard out here in the dating streets because unfortunately, most adults are not emotionally mature nor are they spiritually fulfilled.

Staying optimistic in this dating pool is hard. But I also refuse to become pessimistic, doubtful, or lose faith in true genuine companionship. I’m too great of a woman to become bitter

This (dating) journey of mine has its joys, surprises, and letdowns. Moments of sweetness and peace, wrapped up in another human’s arms. Times of confusion when the truth is dropped and I’m told by a guy that our connection was “too much.” I lean into my friendships for clarity and honesty. My friends don’t run away from the heat of my sun rays. Nay, they confidently pour love & warmth onto my sunspots (Sunspots are the coolest temperature spots on the surface of the Sun. These spots are caused by changes in the Sun’s magnetic field). The love I have found in my friendships has set a standard in all my bonds, romantic and platonic. My friends have shown me what I like and deserve 🙂

I am the Sun, unable to make myself smaller for the sake of others fears. My rays of sunshine blast love particles into the deep dark depths of others souls. The parts of themselves that they weren’t aware needed some light.

XoXo,

Alexis ❤️