I have decided to disappear from the world and just become one with myself again. Reading Eat, Pray, Love reminded me that I need to take time for myself and connect with my core being. I’ve already done a majority of the work but this is a little different. This is me connecting with my core while also shedding my lizard skin of the past. Of course, I embrace my past and am so thankful for all the lessons that were thrown my way but it’s come to point where I now release all of that. Letting go of all the old to make sure I have space for all the new coming into my life. I don’t celebrate new years on Dec 31st, that never sit well with me for some reason. My new year celebration happens on my birthday. I take the time to reevaluate all that happened in the last year and see how far I’ve come. While also planning for the future and making sure that all my new goals are well thought of and put into place.

I’ll essentially be starting over with a fresh clean slate. Closing out one cycle to welcome the new cycle with open arms. A new beginning! The way I imagine it is me grabbing my 21 years of life and putting it all in the box. Thanking all those years for everything that came my way and saying goodbye as I send it off into the universe. I would say the most difficult part for me is being patient for the new beginning to come. It’s an odd feeling to physically feel a new beginning on the horizon, its approaching shadow crawling onto your skin. You know this great thing is coming but when?! How is it showing up?! What form will this new beginning be taking? What lessons will I learn from this new beginning? When you start feeling that way, it just means you still have a little bit more shadow work to do to understand why you are exactly feeling so impatient.

One thing thatI I’ve been reminding myself of that has helped me practice my patience is just believing in divine timing. Believing that every thing will be working out just how the universe plans for it to. It’s all basically set in stone so you might as well accept it rather than running away from it because trust me, it’s more painful when you take the route of running away from your possible growth. There’s a lot that we don’t know about and sometimes we just aren’t meant to know things. There’s so many things happening behind the curtains that the universe isn’t showing us but its all for a reason. For what reason? Who knows. I’m not very certain I have a correct valid answer for that. Nonetheless, I would say its because knowing those things might skew our view a bit and simply because the divine thing that is waiting for you needs some care before you get to receive it. It has to be juuust right. Imagine you decided to rush your blessing and because you rushed it, it’s not as great. It didn’t get enough time to bake in the oven. So now you don’t get that blessing. Sucks, right?

So here I am! Stepping away from life. Not my blog though because I want to share this little journey of mine. I’m not sure how long it’ll last. Maybe just a few days after my birthday. I want to come into my 22nd year of life brand spanking new! And it will definitely be a new one because I flipped my life for the better this last year and my life can only go up from here. Plus, it’s my first year of life where I am in control of my ego. That’s pretty life changing I must say.

So we shall see how this goes! Thank you for reading my late night thoughts. I’ve been having some troubling sleeping lately but I’m trying to not dwell on it and just accept it for what it is.

Also, if you haven’t already, you should watch the movie Zodiac. It’s a staple DVD in my house. As well as The Hobbit movies, Underworld, Bridesmaids, Pulp Fiction, and The Warriors. Spend some time watching your favorite movies, heal your inner child. But also spend just as much time if not way more on reading a book. Humans aren’t meant to be on technology allll day. *says the gen z womxn*