Feeling Grounded
Alexa play “Put Your Records On” by Corinne Bailey Rae
Staying at home has definitely been interesting. Even a homebody like me is struggling mentally with everything that is going right now. I’ve had to find new ways to stay busy and entertained. I’ve spent the majority of my time writing, trying to stay focused on my schoolwork, and with my pets! So today I took my dog, Pepper, out for a walk in Orinda/Briones. Something about big empty grass fields just brings total bliss and happiness to my heart. I highly recommend getting some fresh air during this self-isolation time, even if it is just for a little drive. After our walk, Pepper and I did just that, go for a little drive! It was actually such a beautiful day for a drive too so it all worked out.
Today was something I didn’t even know I needed. Nature is so very grounding for everyone. But I find it especially helpful as someone who does suffer from bipolar disorder. I struggle with connecting to reality at times so more often than not, I am constantly using different techniques to ground myself. A few techniques that work for me are going out in nature, cleaning, listening to music, and spending time with my pets. These are things that sort of snap me out being in my head and help me focus on the now, the present, what is in front of me. Being out of touch with reality hasn’t been as difficult as it has been in the past. I’d like to give some credit to my prescription, Trileptal, and well credit to myself as well. It’s really odd trying to explain to people what goes on in your head, especially when it consists of feeling like nothing is real. I still can’t find the correct words to use to help people understand but just think of it this way, just having a constant dialogue going on in your head where you can’t even process anything that is going on outside of your head because you’re just so caught up on trying to process the things you’re telling yourself. It can be a lethal cycle at times. A lot of my depression comes from that honestly. It’s just like damn, why can’t I be “normal” and not have to constantly question if I’m real or not?
But hey! The beautiful thing that I’ve learned is that, no one is “normal,” like at all lol. We’re all just trying our damn best and really that is all anyone can do. As I’ve become more of a person who lives in the present, it’s helped so much with improving my mental health. Everyday I continue to grow in different ways. Everyday I become more thankful to be alive.