“I don’t have anyone I want to explore or get to know at this moment. I’m just exploring myself and it feels very freeing.” — @melanatedmomma on twitter

Well Miss Alexis,

There’s a certain thing that’s been on my mind lately. If I go a certain way, the way of forgiving and moving towards a healthier chapter with someone, will that be a bad thing? Am I supposed to ignore and block them? How do I go about doing things “correctly” as so to not upset the universe? Or is “upsetting” the universe inevitable because it’s part of experiencing this human life? OR, what I’m thinking is, being able to keep those people as friends (if I want, sometimes its okay to never talk to someone again) and not harbor any negative sentiments towards them. Just do my thing and move onto the next. A bigger and better thing, ya know?

Ugh, I am just tired of guys with girlfriends not being able to stay in their lane. Leave me alone! I have a really big heart but holy damn am I tired of being approached as to join something that isn’t of interest to me. I simply am no longer up for being someone’s second choice. I am too great of a womxn to ever be waiting around for someone. I have grown very tired of people being so underdeveloped as humans. It really isn’t impossible to become a better version of yourself, difficult yes but not impossible.

Look universe, I know I won’t be diving into anything super serious right now (I think? Depends on the person), but how do I draw the line between having a “serious” straight to the point situation versus having a fun and carefree experience? Also, I am monogamous, for someone that I love that is. I do know that I want someone who wants me wholeheartedly, who knows I am worth overcoming their personal fears for. That they talk to themselves like, “Alexis is so rare and genuine, I love her so much and I’m going to show her!” I do not want to join anyone’s situation that they themselves already having going on with others, it’s just really not for me. It doesn’t interest me. I want to meet someone and be in our own situation of just us two.

For so long, I struggled with the idea of monogamy. Honestly, this society just puts so much pressure on you to figure things out so early on in your life. But how am I supposed to know what type of relationship I want in the long run if that person that I want to do so with isn’t in my life yet? I’m just learning that what I want differs from person to person. And that is okay!!! With some people, that I don’t have very strong loving feelings for, honestly I just want to have fun with them. But when I am in love, ugh, I want nothing else but that person. I really am a hopeless romantic. I wonder what Alan Watts would say about that.

Now that I realize that this is the time for me to be single, I am not rushing into anything. This is the time for me to figure out what I like and don’t like. I may not know what exactly I want but I’m learning what I do not want. And that’s good! That is progress either way.

Oh universe, I just don’t want to disappoint you. I do want you to know I am trying, I am just scared of the way your lessons could hurt me. I am scared of being in pain because I made the “wrong” choice. I know I have to change my perspective on that as a whole. Acknowledgment is a step forward in the right direction! I think I just wasn’t looking at it all correctly. I was being really hard on myself. I have to remind myself that things take time to change. Old ways of thinking don’t just change instantly, it’s something you have to work on daily and it progressively changes over time.

Is “monogamy” a bad thing? Is me wanting to call someone “mine” a bad thing? Is that being possessive? What I am realizing right now is that the point of hearing other people’s way of being is to listen, hold no judgment, and well, either brush it off or like as I usually do, sit with the info and see if I agree or not, for myself of course. If it isn’t something that I like for myself then I just accept it as being a view that works for someone else that isn’t me, lol. And if what I learned is something of interest for me, I’ll sit with it, learn the ins and outs as best as I can, then proceed to figure out how to carry it out in my life moving forward.

So Alexis, you see, the point of this all is for people to figure out what works for themselves. And when coming across people, you get to sort through people as experiences and learn something(s) from them. You also get to learn about this person’s beliefs. You get to figure out if both of your beliefs and viewpoints relate to each other thus meeting on a view together. Basically saying, “I like you. You like me. We both feel the same way and want to do similar things together. We’re on the same page about this relationship, let’s freaking do this thing!”

Anyways, let’s not worry too much Alexis. Pain is inevitable. You can only rely on your strength and how you are able to deal with the pain. You live and you learn. So have fun girl! As long as you think things through (by being mindful), have pure intentions, and it makes you happy, just do the damn thing! Spread your wings, baby girl. Experience things. Don’t be so prickly all the time. You have to be gooey sometimes. This and that are true. Nothing is perfect. Nothing is clear cut. Just do you boo.

Plus Alexis, you deserve someone to love, care, and nurture you. You don’t have to compete with anyone. You are a full course 7-day meal. With being such an exemplary person as yourself, it takes time to find someone just as exemplary as you are. Trust in divine timing and things will work out better than you have ever even thought of.

XoXo,

Alexis