Blog Posts

Following My Dreams and Fulfilling My Destiny

Hey Siri, play “Mother’s Daughter” by Miley Cyrus and “Something Out of Nothin'” by Joomanji

“As we advance in life it becomes more and more difficult, but in fighting the difficulties the inmost strength of the heart is developed.”

— Vincent Van Gogh

Alis Volat Propriis

I am choosing to say yes to everything that is meant for me. I am choosing to take a break from school so that I can finally truly explore my passions. I’ve taken a break before and that showed me that I really do value my education and that I love learning more than anything. But I had never thought about giving myself a break just to well make my dreams come true. I thought the only acceptable reason to be taking a break from school was to work like a dog at a 9-5. But that isn’t for me! I worked full time at a start-up company in SF and become the AGM, I had the money but holy fuck, I was so unhappy. So I am choosing to do whatever thrills me because well, life is short and I really do refuse to not fulfill the destiny that the universe has set out for me.

I am learning to put myself first. And you know it really isn’t a crazy idea as it might seem, it just seems odd because we are taught to bend over backward for people and how that is the “only” option. But I freaking refuse to overextend myself for anyone because there is no benefit to me over exhausting myself if it’s just going to make my life miserable. It’s just wild to be making other people happy while leaving myself out of the equation. But I will not continue that any longer. By putting ourselves first, we raise our vibrations. Connecting to your higher self and raising your vibrations isn’t selfish. It is actually so selfless because it benefits you AND the rest of the world.

I am jumping into the unknown to fulfill all my creative desires. And it’s really scary lol. I didn’t realize how scared I am until now because I’m crying. Holy fuck am I scared. I am so scared to fail but I can’t focus on my fear or the failures that could happen. Energy flows where my intention goes. If I put my energy into worrying and my fears, that is all that will come to me. I am putting my energy towards my dreams now. I’ve jumped into the unknown plenty of times and they all led me to where I am now, happy to be alive. I honestly feel pretty alone right now making this decision. Not that I need anyone to convince me because I already made my mind up. But it’s lonely in the sense that all my friends are finishing up their degrees and I’m well, choosing to pursue my creative endeavors. I just feel so alone because everyone is so young getting their degrees and here I am, going down the road of a starving artist that so many before me have gone down before. Van Gogh was dirt poor and didn’t get any recognition until well after he died. So many artists have died with nothing to their name but I am lucky enough to have the grace of the universe by my side. Or so I hope lol.

It’s scary putting school on hold but at the end of the day, school will always be there. I suppose I was trying to rush along the timeline of education because it takes years to become a cognitive psychologist and I just wanted to get it out the way so I can just start my life already. But education is a gift and that is a gift that will thankfully always be there. And just because I am taking a break from school doesn’t mean I won’t go back. I just need this time for myself to get my feet planted into my destiny. It’s also really difficult to make such a decision when you fear the comments of others so I had to learn to not listen to anyone except me, myself, and I. Every day is a new day to start one’s life. We are blessed enough to wake up and have another shot at life every day. We can reinvent ourselves in just a day, that’s so beautiful.

I always thought that I only had two choices, to go to school or work under people. But to my happy surprise, there is an infinite amount of doors to choose from. See this wasn’t an easy decision for many reasons. But those reasons don’t seem to outweigh my desire to just be happy doing what Alexis wants to do. And what Alexis wants to do is travel (when the pandemic is over obvi), write, read, help the world become a better place, and so many other things! The limit does not exist. I want to spread all my knowledge in every which way possible because that is my freaking destiny. I was placed on this Earth to help heal the masses and I am so ready for that.

But see I am scared because well we are human and sadly this human world revolves around money. Society tells us that we have to burn ourselves out just to bring money in but I did that once and it almost killed me. I know I should probably be worried about finances but well, that won’t help my situation because staying in the lack mindset will only attract more unpleasant circumstances. I’m putting all my trust into the universe and giving all my worries to it to be taken care of. This seems so silly but the universe hasn’t failed me yet and it won’t ever fail any of us because everything is meant to be as everything has already been set up by our destiny.

Okay, I’m also trying my hardest to not look at myself in a negative light. I’m working towards a healthier positive mindset everyday which can be so difficult because our ego can be very powerful and it’s tough as hell to do all the ego work that is required of us but it can be done. I’m just putting my all into trying to not feel like a failure because I know I’m not. The universe doesn’t give us anything that we can’t handle so I use that thought to comfort myself. Relying on my faith to hold me tightly as I walk into the unknown with no hand to hold except my own.

I am learning to be kind to myself. I have taken some time to figure out who I am at my core and where I want my life to go. I am learning to be okay with people leaving my life. I am learning to not compare myself to others. I am learning that there are no good or bad choices, just paths that have negative and positive consequences. Basically, the universe gives us positive/negative reinforcements and it’s up to us which type of reinforcements we want to deal with. Neither is wrong, but one is just a little more fun and a little less painful.

I am choosing to take a break from worrying, lol. I am such a worry wort and that stems from wanting to control life. But the universe gave me a call to remind me that well, I can co-create my life but I cannot control how the universe lets things play out. Everything happens in divine timing, at the exact time and moment that it had to happen. So I had to learn to accept that all the pain I have endured was meant to happen so that I can grow and learn from all those experiences. We lose people but we don’t really ~lose~ them you know. And that goes for every situation, whether you lose someone to the angel of death or just simply not having them as a part of your life anymore. Loss isn’t a bad thing. It’s just part of our evolution.

The saying “the future is now” is so true. We always think about the future but what we don’t realize is that our future is literally right now because everything we do now affects our future. A ripple effect. Funny enough, skincare actually taught me that lesson. As long as I take the time to take care of my skin now while I am young, I will have such youthful skin when I am old. Everything we do sets us up for the future so be mindful about what you put into your body and how you treat yourself. Make sure that you set intentions for yourself every day. They can be as simple as just wanting to vibe with the day as I so usually do. We are laying down the foundation for our future so be sure to double-check the nails and screws before proceeding.

I am choosing to be confident in my answers, myself, my career, my world, my environment. I am choosing to vibrate at a high frequency to attract all else that is vibrating on the same frequency as I am. Lowering your vibrations leaves you susceptible to the real evils in life (like the 7 sins). It’s funny, I’ve definitely found my balance in spirituality and religion and it has been so healing. But that is a story for another day.

I am choosing to be vulnerable. I am making all these choices each and every day so my building blocks lead to my dreams. I am scared but I am choosing to ignore that feeling and focus on my truest hearts desire. May we honor ourselves and all those before us that were unable to make their dreams come true by making sure that we are challenging our limiting beliefs. Yes, we have suffered in the past but that is the past and that is where it should stay. We must fully process the past and release it in order to step into our power. Despite what we may think, the worst is over and we are not broken. Take a step back today to acknowledge your accomplishments and growth. Whether it just be as simple as starting to eat breakfast regularly, maintaining mental stability, or just cutting out a toxic habit, be proud of who you are today!!!

Remember, as long as you lead with your heart every day, you will never fail. Anything that you do out of love comes back to you tenfold. Love is the highest vibration that exists! Abundance can only follow when you find yourself, your purpose, and if you continue doing what you love despite the opinions of others. May the love that the universe has for you comfort you in your darkest moments. Trust the process. Love never disappoints.

XoXo,

Alexis 🙂

05/05/2021 edit

LMAOOOOO. Little did I know was that my break from school did me good but I missed it and well, I have dreams that need to be worked on so here I am, doing what I do best, living my life in Alexis fashion. I’m just better at balancing life now. I started this semester with 3 classes but dropped one a couple weeks in because I didn’t like not having room to breathe + I am still dedicating time to my mental disorder and getting that shit sorted out. This semester is almost over and I know I passed these two classes. Somehow, I fucking did it despite my fears of failure. I’m also working at school now and I feel very happy about that. Just interesting to see how things turned out months later!!