Hi. I just want to share some random thoughts/stories because why not.

I’ve got a craving for wine this week. Which caught me by surprise because I really don’t drink like that. Granted I was part of a wine club when I turned 21 but that was more for the experience. I don’t even remember the last time I had a drink, but I know for sure it was a Corona with lime and tajin, lol. So here I am, scrolling on the internet for some wine. I was getting some assistance on wine.com (they are so helpful and kind, wow) and I informed them of my likes and dislikes, and that I was primarily looking for some wine that said “independent woman.” The woman that was helping me said, “Everything speaks independent woman when you’re the one paying for it.” This gave me a really big smile. Anyway, I’m continuing my search for wine. My intention for when I drink these is to just bathe in my femininity and strength. I haven’t felt extremely sexy in awhile. I’ve felt confident and in love with myself, but I haven’t had the drive to wear my lingerie or put makeup on. But wine is my little trick for the perfect sexy pick me up. It just gets me all warm and sends electricity through my fingertips. Okay I found some bottles I’m interested in but before I order, I want to check if my local businesses have any in stock. I messaged one so we shall see.

Lol actually speaking of wine, when I was working at Pier 39, being the friendly person that I am, I of course made friends with people from all the stores. Particularly the bar and the wine bar. Mind you, I think I was like 19-20 at the time, drinking for free! One day I’ll be able to write about all my shenanigans but it’s safe to say, I am so lucky to be alive. Back to my story, the guys working at both bars had crushes on me and I was the manager at my store so I had some strings I was able to pull. I want to say that I wish that with all the time I spent drinking, that I could’ve actually freaking learned something about wine and beer. I truly didn’t appreciate how nice I had it to be getting free drinks whenever, especially with some nice bottles of wine. Like wow, Alexis c’mon, tourists spend money just to drink at those places and you were able to just stop in for a drink and go about your day. Alas, it had to happen like that. When you’re young, you drink to get drunk. Especially when you’re underage. After all that underage drinking, I now drink to enjoy the full experience of what each wine has to offer. I’m really just laughing at myself right now omg. I had chances to take in information from professional wine people but nooo, Alexis just wanted to get drunk. What I did learn is that earthy flavors are not for me nor do I enjoy a wine that dries my mouth. As for the beers, I really love hefeweizen-type beers.

I’m honestly shocked that I haven’t rushed for my wine. I would usually rush and give in to my cravings, but this time it turns out that I’m enjoying the experience of finding the right wines for me. And when I find them and receive them, I am going to have such a thrilling time. I wonder what book I’ll read for the occasion.

Funny story which is just more of a story of how I embarrassed myself, which happens so often. I went to the grocery store for a couple of items. And I’m the type of person who well, likes to just carry everything in her arms so she doesn’t buy things she doesn’t need. It’s a pretty great method but bites me in the ass every time. Will I ever learn? Maybe. I got bananas, strawberries, a pickle, a sandwich, and I think something else but I can’t recall. I went to self check out and started scanning. I got to the strawberries and boom, I freaking drop them!!! Which you would think would be a small thing but every one heard them fall. So in my head, I’m like, okay I just made a mess let me tell the workers, so I do that and they just look at me like I’m cray. No one came to help me lmao. I’m still hurt but whatever. I just know I help people when they’re having a moment like how I was having one. I’m not the type of person to leave a mess so I finished checking out, picked up the strawberries and just left with some dirty ass strawberries in my hand. Which whatever, I know germs are bad right now but I also believe germs are good for us and if I die, then I die. I just got embarrassed because so many people heard me and no one helped me. Which is fine because I had a good laugh, the situation would happen to me, and I was looking good and moisturized so at least people got a nice view. Oh Alexis. I face palm to myself on the daily. So pretty yet so clumsy.

Omg is what I’m lacking a self-care day?! I think so. My daily life includes self-care due to the fact that I’ll go crazy if I don’t let myself breathe. But I haven’t had a true self care day in a long time. Omg maybe I’ll go all out and put on some fake nails because it’s been months since the last time.

Oh yeah, I think the walk I had this morning definitely gave me the restart I needed. I came home afterwards and finished this paper that I have been dreading in just a couple of hours. I knew I would finish by the end of the day and my paper isn’t due for a couple of days so I wasn’t in an extreme rush, but geez I am so glad to be done with what I was so scared of for no reason. Pepper and I go out for regular walks but our schedule got changed up when my I was playing caretaker/cat-sitter. Once I did get time for myself, I just wanted to sleep because I was so drained from all the energy in the house. After a couple of days of intense note taking and assignment completing, I was able to relax in knowing that I am not behind. Which is so rare for me because my depression had gotten the best of me in the past every single time. But things seem to be incredibly different this year. There is a lot going on in the world right now but I find it crucial to find gratefulness in everything. Some how some way, I was born into a world with food so readily available to me, water at the turn of a knob, and warmth at the push of a button. Here I am, so bountiful and just very grateful to be alive.

I love that my walks consist of so much nature. Even when there’s a dead deer on the road with its neck snapped in half 😛 That’s a hard image to get out of my head lol.

• The lack of streamlined open communication is really missing in family dynamics, why?
• I’m a delicate flower yet also a fierce phoenix. Interesting.
• I’ve amazed myself with my ability to overcome my fears

Okay my brain is relaxed now. Thank you for reading.

XoXo,

Lexx