Something is going on in my brain but I am unable to find the words to describe it. I know it’s a good thing because I have been more in control of how I let my emotions affect me. Is this my brain being healthy? I hope so. Maybe it’s just me being aligned with my highest self and the universe. I am going to meditate so that I can figure out the right words to explain what my brain is doing. I think it really is my brain finally getting to walk on the foundation that I started building a year ago. Isn’t that some shit?

I really have been happier because all the things that I put into place when I began my well-being journey are now damn near second nature. I implemented so many things into my life simply to get my mental health in order and that positive ripple effect touched my entire soul. I can literally feel my family lineage healing because I chose to put my mental health before all else and I am so glad I stuck through it!!!

Things like journaling, tracking my moods, spending less time on social media/technology, having a regular sleeping schedule, eating regularly, making sure I get in all my daily greens, and taking my vitamins, well, all of those things I started doing last year. And I did all of that because my doctor said that’s what I had to do to get myself back up after that breakdown. As scary as that breakdown was, it truly was a breakthrough. I honestly wouldn’t have changed my life around without it. It just made me appreciate life because I really got a whole ass second chance!

I think my most favorite part of the improved Alexis is simply that I actually believe in something now. I used to really identify as being agnostic but now, I identify as spiritual and I love that. And I’ve become more confident in speaking out about it. Even if people think I’m weird for carrying crystals with me and in my car, they honestly provide me so many benefits and that is all that matters. It’s just crazy how people really are so fearful of spirituality. It’s not a scary thing at all and it truly does empower you, unlike so many religions. But ahh, to each their own!

I started watching Twilight Zone again. I love this show. Rod Serling was a creative genius and how great it was for him to have his own show where he could have full freedom all around. People should rewatch Twilight Zone during this pandemic downtime. I believe they’ll have a whole different perspective watching it now compared to when they watched it so long ago. We honestly could learn so much from different creative mediums if we just had a little perspective.

I get to spend the day taking care of my great-grandma tomorrow and I am so excited about that. She is 90 years old so I love being able to spend as much time as I can with her. Ugh, I love that woman with my whole heart. It just makes me sad that dementia really is a real thing. I wish I could’ve asked her things when she had more of her memory because things for her now are just scattered. But I was just a kid before and I guess this is just how the universe wanted things to play out. My Spanish isn’t the best and she has dementia, but that doesn’t stop us from communicating to our bestest abilities. I’m hoping to work on my Spanish vocabulary regarding psychology and mental health because I want to close that language barrier between my grandma and I on a level that I feel most comfortable. Idk, I just wish I could ask my grandma why she never showed affection to her kids. She showed affection to us grandchildren but not really. We were always the ones who hug her. And even to this day, I still have to force her to give me a kiss and she laughs off her “I love you’s” when I have her tell me, lol. Idk, I just wish I could understand why she feels the need to be distant. Maybe it’s because her mom died when she was young and she was had to help raise her siblings after so she had to grow up fast too. Ugh, I just want to heal her inner child but alas, I guess I can’t.

I just love my grandma with my whole heart. She really is my best friend. And I plan on making my dreams come true because that means I am making her dreams come true too. Here’s to Latinx women doing the damn thing and giving a big middle finger to society every day!!!

XoXo,

Alexis