I’m learning to get myself out the house when I’m overwhelmed with emotions. So that’s what I did after dropping my mom after for her surgery this morning. I had a whole breakdown in the car which isn’t something new lol. I guess I’m just learning how to really balance the positives and negatives of life. The duality that is ever persistent in being alive. It’s definitely become easier as time goes on but the same difficulties are still there.

Maybe it’s because my heart is too giving for a society that isn’t as giving as I am. Which is fine no one has to be super giving but they should be compassionate at the very least. I’ve had to learn how to set up boundaries for myself so I don’t give too much of myself away. But even then, you can never really avoid getting hurt. Which kinda sucks because I cry so much already! Thankfully, I’ve already been through a lot of sh*t that’s really prepared me for life itself. It makes me tremendously sad to lose people but this is life. It just sucks when you have to cut out people from your life because they cause more harm than good even after you explain to them that in order for them to stay, they’re going to have to change. Unfortunately, people aren’t going to change unless they want to so you see them free!

And now has come the point in my life where I’m really letting people free even if they are family members. Because they can be just as toxic as anyone else! It’s just funny to me because I fee as if people underestimate my strength just because I am so delicate. Like yes I cry a lot and I hurt easily but I also know my worth! I didn’t go through hell and bounce back numerous times just so more people can treat me badly. I mean you can’t avoid people hurting you BUT you can put up your boundaries and have limits because you don’t have to deal with anyone’s B.S.

I think I’m done crying for a day but who knows lol.