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What I Am Looking For In A Partner

Hey Siri, play “Delayed Devotion” by Duffy

My Bff, Byron, sent me a video of them jamming to this song with the message reading “I always think of you when this song plays <3” and it completely melted my heart. I forgot how much I love this song and the meaning it carries for me.

Just like Duffy and I’m sure many other people, I have spent my fair share of time waiting around for someone to show me their devotion. All the empty promises left unfulfilled because I gave someone the benefit of the doubt that didn’t deserve it. I tried to see some sort of truth in their words because why would someone say something that they didn’t mean? I spoke my truth in hopes that someone could reciprocate the maturity but I was met with silence. All these disappointments have taught me to really stand up for what I seek in a partner and to stand by it. To not let my requirements be swept under the rug as if they hold no importance to me. For a long time, I thought I had to mold into what others wanted but I was thankfully so wrong! I don’t have to mold into someone I’m not and the person that is meant for me won’t have to mold into someone they aren’t either, just two confident individuals coming together to create something so extraordinary!

I shared a list of qualities I seek in a partner in one of my previous posts recently. And ever since then, I’ve just been really thinking about the topic. And I just wanted to share that because I think it’s important to discuss the things we want in someone. You want to make sure you are aligned with someone you know.

My partner:

My partner understands that my energy fluctuates. Sometimes I like to be in bed by 9pm. On the other half of the times, I get all my energy at night. And that’s when I get really creative. It’s when I create my most beautiful masterpieces.

My partner loves going out into nature and enjoys camping, being disconnected from technology and society. My partner is into the outdoors and knows how to do all that fun stuff! It would be cool if they know how to fish even though I don’t like fish.

My partner loves watching movies just as much as I do. They aren’t scared of horror films and they enjoy the creative aspect behind film.

My partner has the emotional intelligence that I am looking to connect with. We can talk for hours, about anything and everything.

My partner loves traveling and learning about all sorts of cultures and traditions. They love expanding their knowledge on topics around the world.

My partner loves music just as much as I do and has an eclectic taste. They show me music I have yet to discover and we bond over some of our favorite ones all at the same time.

My partner is basically a whole ass chef and loves cooking. We love cooking together, coming up with new and interesting recipes.

My partner loves animals just as much as I do! They’re an amazing pet dad just as I am an amazing pet mom.

My partner finds fulfillment and pure joy/love in being a father. They are patient and compassionate towards our kids. They are ever encouraging and supportive.

My partner isn’t intimidated by me like so many before

My partner is the grounding I seek in my hardest times. He is my light that guides me to a brighter world. He is the clean up after an amazing party. He is the universe I talk to when I feel lost and alone. He is my mirror. He is the safety I seek when the wind blows the trees down.

My partner is the ultra-intensified version of self-love and I him.

My partner is patient and understanding of my fluctuating mood levels. It’s not easy being Alexis!

My partner understands the need and importance of sustainability

My partner has similar values and beliefs as I do (as in, they care about the greater good for all so f*ck the government)

My partner (and this one is crazy important) isn’t afraid of taking out any type of bug/insect that comes into the house. I am not the one to be touching them, I’d gag.

My partner has some amazing cool hobbies that well, amaze me and just make me smile when I see them doing what makes them happy

My partner makes me proud to be their significant other

My partner enjoys reading and has an assortment of books that allow me to be the curious cat that I am

If at all anything, I just want someone who is so confident in wanting me to be their partner! I don’t want to question their feelings for me, that’s not something anyone should ever have to do. I find it so amazing when someone has the communication skills that I carry or even more than that actually! I look for emotional intelligence in a partner. I’ve had so many people come into my life who just weren’t on my wavelength and the boredom of that really comes close to death. I just want someone who loves and cares for me, and freaking understands my brain so I can let all my parts come out and play. Someone who inspires and challenges me each and every day to be the best version of myself. Someone who understands that if I don’t reply to a message, it’s most likely because I’m napping. Someone who is proud to be my significant other. Honestly, it’s all so simple, I’m just sticking to my word for once hence why I’ve spent so much lovely time being alone. All that I ask for in a partner are simply qualities that I see and appreciate in myself, and that is the most beautiful thing of all.

Until then, I shall enjoy my time being an unbothered single Sally! Sometimes it gets a bit boring but I’d much rather have that than the annoyance of dealing with the frustration that someone isn’t stimulating my mind. I just really enjoy not wasting my time by disturbing my peace for people I know I don’t want in my life for the long haul!

Actually, in the current book that I’m reading which discusses the qualities of successful people, it mentions that when a woman chooses a partner, they really have to rely on their intuition. So here I am, relying on my intuition! All in all, I really am a simple woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to speak on it.

XoXo,

Alexis Mariah 🧠